a song known quite a few years ago
lends the title to the experience recounted by one of our partner
A distance of one year after the birth of James I to reflect on a question that, at the time, I was directed by a doctor: "But what it feels like the seventh IVF? how you deal?" Then without thinking I answered by saying that everything was faced with more awareness, without illusions, knowing the limited success rates.
was a lie! Without those illusions My son would never be born!
Today I can say with more serenity because I can watch without fear that those feelings aside, who chased him off for not suffering too much. Only now can I analyze "clinically ", " by experts in the problem", the various stages of IVF, and IVF several that follow: the psychological stages mean.
why is not the physical fatigue that frightens us women, nor the "manipulations" which we are subject, nor necessarily strangers peering eyes of our most intimate parts, nor yet annoying consequences of routine therapy.
E 'loneliness, and the crowd of thoughts, now elated depressing hour, which does not allow us to endure those long fifteen days that separate the transfer from the pregnancy test. Thoughts that you can not put into words because there is not always those who are willing to listen, because you are afraid of boring, especially because no one wants to give voice to that pain.
Not even your partner can understand, despite all his efforts, because a man "not seen" and "no evidence" that happens to you. Are worthless and the exhortations of those who live indirectly your experience, "not to think, live your life forever. "
You can not! Why" periods IVF "are all-encompassing, they absorb all your thoughts, because everything is in keeping with the times and dates for withdrawals, ultrasound, injections.
And the first concern is to "not produce anything" to stay in the great obstacle which is called transfer and watch your traveling companions go on without being able to follow.
Then comes the long awaited day than feared, and starts scanning the hours until the verdict, unforgiving, condemning unjustly: the test is negative. It rushes! Sometimes the tears come, sometimes you are there, stunned, wondering why!
It also happens that the test is positive. Deceives you, feel you've conquered the world, only to fall back, more badly than before, when they tell you that "his little heart has stopped beating."
And would not want to let you take away! Instead you find yourself cold on a bed of an operating room to undergo a scraper that did not want, and you wake up softly with tears of those who, by your side, no words of consolation.
And then you find the strength inside you, one and only inside. Recompose the pieces jumping, life begins again from the point where it was left open.
Over time, however, thin salt and overbearing anger, that feeling that makes you not accept the surrender, which forces you to pick up the phone to get back on the waiting list.
so begins a new cycle: the hope, the desire to try again, the euphoria that precedes any attempt novo, the illusion is finally "the right time."
I know I did! "The right time" came really: it was not easy because it was not a happy pregnancy, but there are successful, just when I decided that I did not want to delude myself not to suffer again.
Now I say thank you to all! To those who helped me and I have been close, but above all I say (whispering), thanks to me as a woman, just because we women have this power that allows us to go beyond any reasonable obstacle.
was a lie! Without those illusions My son would never be born!
Today I can say with more serenity because I can watch without fear that those feelings aside, who chased him off for not suffering too much. Only now can I analyze "clinically ", " by experts in the problem", the various stages of IVF, and IVF several that follow: the psychological stages mean.
why is not the physical fatigue that frightens us women, nor the "manipulations" which we are subject, nor necessarily strangers peering eyes of our most intimate parts, nor yet annoying consequences of routine therapy.
E 'loneliness, and the crowd of thoughts, now elated depressing hour, which does not allow us to endure those long fifteen days that separate the transfer from the pregnancy test. Thoughts that you can not put into words because there is not always those who are willing to listen, because you are afraid of boring, especially because no one wants to give voice to that pain.
Not even your partner can understand, despite all his efforts, because a man "not seen" and "no evidence" that happens to you. Are worthless and the exhortations of those who live indirectly your experience, "not to think, live your life forever. "
You can not! Why" periods IVF "are all-encompassing, they absorb all your thoughts, because everything is in keeping with the times and dates for withdrawals, ultrasound, injections.
And the first concern is to "not produce anything" to stay in the great obstacle which is called transfer and watch your traveling companions go on without being able to follow.
Then comes the long awaited day than feared, and starts scanning the hours until the verdict, unforgiving, condemning unjustly: the test is negative. It rushes! Sometimes the tears come, sometimes you are there, stunned, wondering why!
It also happens that the test is positive. Deceives you, feel you've conquered the world, only to fall back, more badly than before, when they tell you that "his little heart has stopped beating."
And would not want to let you take away! Instead you find yourself cold on a bed of an operating room to undergo a scraper that did not want, and you wake up softly with tears of those who, by your side, no words of consolation.
And then you find the strength inside you, one and only inside. Recompose the pieces jumping, life begins again from the point where it was left open.
Over time, however, thin salt and overbearing anger, that feeling that makes you not accept the surrender, which forces you to pick up the phone to get back on the waiting list.
so begins a new cycle: the hope, the desire to try again, the euphoria that precedes any attempt novo, the illusion is finally "the right time."
I know I did! "The right time" came really: it was not easy because it was not a happy pregnancy, but there are successful, just when I decided that I did not want to delude myself not to suffer again.
Now I say thank you to all! To those who helped me and I have been close, but above all I say (whispering), thanks to me as a woman, just because we women have this power that allows us to go beyond any reasonable obstacle.
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