Barbara is gone. A dear friend who has struggled like many of us, to crown the most beautiful dream of a woman becoming a mother. But an enemy far more fierce "stealing" his life.
We remember it in Cagliari, in our Stork House, but also in Rome, where she lived and where he spent all of herself for things she believed in: freedom of being a mother
I heard from a few hours. Luciana told me everything. You're gone. For a year now you're gone and I only now do I understand the long silence, the trill of the telephone vacuum. A deep and devastating pain surprised me on a rainy October afternoon.
I see you arrive with a smile and two eyes, deep blacks and bright ...
"is so much I want a baby, I feel that here I'll make it" and indeed there had made the incredulous were distributed from our home full of hope. But once again the fate you tore my heart with one another miscarriage. Slowly you were shooting, you were back at work again and told me "I really want a baby, mo 'I rest, I get back together and then try again." Months passed and from time to time ci si sentiva, mi raccontavi dei figli delle amiche, dei ricami a punto croce fatti sul trenino che ti portava avanti e indietro a Roma, e poi, a Natale mi dicesti dei problemi con lui, del suo lavoro perduto, del fatto che non ce la facevi a tornare, a riprovare, dovevi aspettare. Poi a febbraio, improvvisamente la telefonata che mi annunciava il miracolo, eri incinta, dopo anni di dolore, dopo quattro aborti in utero finalmente il tuo sogno si stava realizzando: Flavio era in viaggio. La notizia di questo figlio così desiderato e amato ti rese radiosa, bellissima lo eri da sempre. Riuscimmo a incontrarci, e nonostante la gravidanza riuscisti a darci un contributo enorme durante la referendum battle, then the baby is born, the first months of joy and then a final phone call, months after I announced a problem, a presumed mastitis that prevents you from nurse .... I do the checks you told me, the doctor thinks a cyst ... wants to work. I tried to reassure, to encourage it to trust,,, come Barbi, there is Flavio ... come, be positive.
We left with a promise to hear from you soon, with a kiss and with you always think ....
But we have not heard any more.
Every time I came to Rome, I thought, I rang a few times but the phone rang unanswered ....
I figured were okay, I had moved house, I'd marry your love and all that taken by motherhood and the work I had more time .... But ... instead of fighting a hard battle, terrible against a ruthless enemy that you stole the life, Flavio and all those who loved you, who love you ... and I could not know anything, I could not even hold your hand a time but you, you, proven by four devastating interventions from chemo and radiation, you exhausted by the disease were able to give advice, information, tips and Luciana courage fighting the same war and you were so good, so convincingly that she luckily managed to win it. Extraordinary Barbi. Generosa's life even while you were losing.
Your memory is so strong and alive in my heart that it seems impossible that do you really gone I have left a void, an endless rage at the thought of your broken life, consumed by disease, your child will grow senza il tuo sorriso, il tuo ottimismo, la tua forza e il tuo immenso coraggio. Ma avrà te. Lo so che non lo lascerai mai solo.
Ti ho conosciuta e mi hai regalato la tua gioia di vivere, la tua risata argentina e contagiosa…ciao Barbara grazie per il tempo che abbiamo avuto, per quello che ci hai lasciato.
Ti voglio bene
Laura
